Morbid Memories
by AllyBethie
Summary: I had plan to die tonight. Funny how things never seem to work out like you intend.
1. Prologue

I had planned to die tonight. I find this sentence both ironic and teasing. I had planned my final moments on Earth for months. I slaved over the morbid and dark thoughts, waiting until the right type of demise came upon me. I didn't want to die for the simple act of dying. It was meant to be celebratory. A celebration of my pain finally coming to an end. The pain that I had lived with since I can remember. I knew of it before my legs were even strong enough to walk. Before my mouth had formed its first words, its first sentence.

Not before its first mournful cry though. The cry that came from having to watching my mother die.

It has been a very long time since I've uttered that same cry. In my perfect plan, I wasn't going to have to hear it ever again. Yet it came screaming out of my mouth now as I was being carried way into the darkness. Snatched from my impending death by some "brave and heroic" citizen whose soul I hated more than anything, I cried furious tears. Like a child being told no, I wasn't allow to die.

Because of my tears and my wailing, I didn't notice when my "savior" lifted up a manhole cover and slip the two of us down with both speed and grace. Thinking back, I can feel the swift movements that my body had felt, but then it was ignored and hated.

As we continued rushing into the darkness of the sewer, a long stream of color emitted from me. I can hardly remember some of the things I said, but they were ugly. I was in a hysterical coma. So you can imagine my surprise when I realized a soft gentle voice that was hardly above a whisper slowly snapped me out of it.

"It'll be alright."

That line sent me over the edge. I pulled my thin frame from the figure's shoulder and faced him squarely, taking in a deep breath as I did so.

"How the crap is it goin…" I stopped, both completely shocked and intrigued by what my eyes saw. My shock has won out though, because I almost instantly fell faint. Not before my mind made memory of the royal purple fabric the figure wore.

The next thing I remember is waking up in what appeared to be a make shift lab. My bed was hard and cold and my throat throbbed with pain from my wailing. Most people in my position probably would have woken up in confusion and fear. Me, I woke up distant and angry. I wanted to beat the sandwich out of the guy who saved me.

Suddenly I snapped to a more alert state and attempted to sit up. This was a mistake because as soon as I did so I felt nauseous. I slowly laid back down, my stomach turning as I felt the coolness of the bed making contact with my body. As I was resting my head, I noticed a glass of water with a couple of pills. I grabbed the pills for closer inspection, and felt a piece of paper underneath them. I picked that up instead and saw a quick note scrawled on it.

"_These are sleeping pills. You should take them and get some sleep."_

_-Don_

The name of my rescuer; or the name of a monster, I wasn't really sure yet. Popping the pills into my mouth, I decided it wasn't worth thinking about now. Haunting memories were floating around in my mind, and I did not want to see them.


	2. Donatello

"Oh, yeah, great Don. Just what we need, another human to know who we are and where we live!"

"You don't seem to mind April and Casey!"

"Well, there different!"

"Give me a break, will you Raph?!"

I sighed. This wasn't going well. A suicidal teenager and a steamed Raphael was not a good combo. I really wish he had gone with the others to April's. Except my brother hadn't been feeling well the last couple of days. He apparently felt well enough to yell at me though.

I stopped by my lab door and peaked through the solitary pane of glass. The girl was sleeping on the metal counter I had placed her on. I strode over to the couch and grabbed the tattered blanket we had draped over the back. Picking up a throw pillow as well, I went back to my lab door and went in.

Raphael, who had been going on the entire time I was doing this, finally stopped for a moment and followed me in. I looked at him, waiting for him to pop off with another retort. He began to open his mouth filled with another opinion and I put my finger to my lips, asking him to be quiet. Surprisingly he listened. I doubted he would have woken her up, because I did give her a pretty concentrated dose of a sleeping drug, but it never hurt to be safe. The poor girl needed some sleep.

I tip-toed over to the sleeping figure. Gentle, I cupped my hand under her head and ever so slowly lifted her head up. I couldn't help but to admire the soft texture of her auburn hair. I slid the pillow underneath and laid her head back down. I then covered her with the blanket. She immediately tensed when the fabric touched her body. I notice that her breathing pattern was erratic. I wasn't really sure, but I think she might have been having a panic attack. It would seem that the pills I gave her weren't even enough to ease her mind.

I sighed again. Then I spun on my heels and ushered Raph out of the room. The minute the lab door was shut, I heard my brother's voice sounding out again.

"Why is she even here? You've been moonlightin'?" My brother hissed through his teeth. He stuck a green finger in my face, making me step back a bit. I had no idea what in the world his comment was suppose to mean, but I figured it was probably a good time to explain to him the situation.

"Alright Raph, I'm going to tell you why she's here, and then you are going to sit down, shut up and leave it alone!" I snapped at him. Which surprised the both of us. The surprise quickly wore off my brother's face and his brow furrowed. He sat down and looked at me expectantly.

"Alright," I started, " tonight I was savaging for some parts I need for the lab. A fusion chamber of mine is on the fritz and I need-"

"Don, the point?"

"Right, sorry. Anyway, I see this girl in the ally. She's by her self and is just…. Dancing. I dipped into the shadows so she wouldn't see me, but I had to keep watching her. She's got a glass of champagne in one hand and a large knife in the other. She giggled, and declares something about the end of life and finishes off the champagne. Then she brings the knife against her throat. So I did what I was suppose to do and stopped her from making a stupid mistake."

My brother just looked at me dumbly for a minute. You could tell that this was not the answer he was expecting. For the next moment or so, I watched as my brother fought the guilt that attacked him. Finally, he gathered himself together and looked at me.

"So, do you think it's ok for her to be in your lab with all the equipment?" Raph asked softly. I glanced towards my lab door before answering.

"Yeah. It seemed that her suicide attempt had been planned extensively.

"Extensively?"

"Hmm." I wondered to the couch and crashed onto it. I became aware of the tiredness in my body "Remember the champagne?" I looked up in time to see Raph nod. "Champagne is expensive. Even the cheapo brands are pricy. Most teenage girls don't buy champagne unless it's a special occasion. They'd much rather spend it on the latest _Seventeen_ magazine."

"So how does that translate as to her attempted being extensively planned?" Raph came closer to the couch, taking his seat in Splinter's recliner.

"Well, if her suicide was a special occasion, chances are she planned something spectacular. She's deliberately planned it carefully and isn't likely just to off herself for the sake of it."

Raph seemed content at this answer. I could see in his eyes that it disturbed him as much as me. This girl was the same age as us more or less. It's unsettling to think about someone your age dying.

"So," my brother began, "that still doesn't answer my question as to why you brought her here." That was a fair enough question.

"I couldn't leave her alone Raph. She was determined to kill herself, and when I stopped her she went into hysterics. I had no way of knowing who she was or where she lived, and I couldn't just bring her to a hospital. Her crying and screaming would have brought attention to myself."

My brother nodded again and leaned back into the chair, a sigh escaping from his lips.

"Splinter ain't gonna like it."

"Maybe not. But he would have done the same thing."


	3. A Matter of the Heart

a/n: Hey there. So, quick note about point of views. I am going to alternate between different characters through this whole story- mostly between Donny and our tragic protagonist. But I don't really feel like naming every chapter after the current speaker, because titles are fun and enticing. To keep from confusing everybody though I'm just going to mention whom the speaker is in author notes. This is still Donny. Allybethie

The room was quiet. I had shut everything down so the most you could hear was our breathing. My mysterious friend had remained sleeping the rest of the evening and well into the night. It was nearing two in the morning now. I had a lug nut between two of my fingers, inspecting it to see if I could find any imperfection. This of course was just another way to keep me from analyzing the situation. I reason to keep me from studying her.

I hate to admit it, but I was fascinated with her mind set. Why was she so driven over the edge mentally to want to kill herself? What was the cause of her panic attacks? Why does panic attacks create such strange breathing patterns? Why was she dancing?

Why, why, why?

My curiosity was one of the bigger reasons I stayed watching instead of taking off when I first saw her. I hadn't seen the knife originally. I was too fascinated by her behavior. It was strange to me, because she was so happy. Yet, by the way her body language spoke and the glistening tears the rolled down her cheeks, you could just tell that there was more to it than that. It wasn't until she raise the glass of champagne to her lips that I saw the knife. For a split second, I froze at the realization of what was happening.

I wanted to study her. I knew nothing of these emotions, except from what I read from fiction and T.V. I have done a little research on the internet about it, but there is nothing like the ability to study the real thing up close in personal.

Which is why I could never be a truly great scientist. It's all the matter of the heart, something I have too much of. A good scientist observes with no remorse. I couldn't study her, after the obvious pain and tragedy she been through. Even if she were to wake up, refrain from screaming after she saw me, and allow me to ask my questions, what kind of person would that make me? In my mind that would make me horrible and unforgivable. It sicken my heart to think of it.

Because of my deep concentration, I wasn't aware of the fact when Splinter came in and sat next to me. I almost yelled in surprise when he spoke. Great proof I'm a ninja.

"How is she my son?" He asked quietly.

I sat straight up and looked at him blindly for a minute. I looked back at the figure to note her breathing. It still seemed a bit haphazard, but had calmed considerable since this evening.

"I really don't know. She seems to be doing a lot better in some aspects, but it could be due solely to the sleeping drug I gave her."

We both sat silently for a few minutes. As Raph predicted, Splinter wasn't too fond of the idea of having an unknown human in our lair. When my family returned home and made the discovery, I had sat with them for almost a full hour recounting the events of my evening. It was a lot easier to explain when Raph was the only one; I only had one set of questions to deal with. When you add Mikey and Leo; Leo asking the descriptive questions and Mikey with the silly ones, it takes a little bit longer. The entire time I was talking, I could see Splinter's brows furrowing. I can't blame him; there is always a huge risk when we let someone become aware of us. I still allow myself to smile when I think about the first time Raph brought April home. Our father's tail whipped about in aggravation, but soon ceased when the situation was explained.

Surprisingly though, my father took it rather well. It's nearly impossible to get a rise out of him, but when we do something potentially foolish, you can see his eyes flashing with anger and his tail moving furiously. None of that happened. I don't know if it's just because I've always been known to make wise decisions, or the seriousness that Raph and I greeted them with. Splinter just listened, and when we were done, he retreated to his room to mediate. For me it was both relieving and unsettling.

"You did the right thing Donatello." Splinter finally said. I smiled and looked over to my father. I was about to say something when I was interrupted.

"So, what are you? A lizard?"

This time I did yelp with surprise. I mental smacked myself for being so off guard tonight. Ninjas aren't super sonic radars that are sensitive to any kind of movement, but I should have realized she had woken up. I blinked at her for a moment.

"What? No, I'm a turtle."

"Hmm." She seemed unimpressed. Her green eyes looked drowsy as the wondered over to Splinter. Her brows knotted for a moment. Then she just snorted and closed her eyes.

"I'll step out on a limb and guess what you're Don." She said.

"Yeah." I stood up and walked over to her. I grabbed the water on the table and offered it to her, "Are you thirsty?"

"Not particularly."

I placed the glass back on the counter, "Then you should probably try to get some more sleep. You're still a little shaken from your hysterics. Do you want another blanket?"

The girl only shook her head no, and rolled over to her side. I looked at Splinter, and he rose and headed for the door. I went to follow him when the girl spoke again.

"You know what's really annoying Don?"

"Not knowing your name?" I asked

She chuckled quietly at that. "It's Chloe. But that's not what I was talking about."

"What's really annoying Chloe?"

"When I woke up the first time, I wanted nothing more than to beat you into a pulp, but you're too much of a nice guy."

I allowed myself a smile as I closed the door. I walked over to the kitchen and sighed. It was time for a cup of coffee. I was so tired all of a sudden.

"You must rest my son." My father figure said.

"I can't. Someone needs to stay with her." I replied as I poked through the cabinets. Where did Mikey put that bloody coffee can?

"I will stay with her." Splinter put a hand on my shoulder, "You can regain your duties after a few hours of sleep."

I looked at my sensei and started to argue, but then stopped. The look on his face said everything. Chloe was in need of someone to talk to and befriend. That was going to be me, and I wasn't going to do her any good sleeping in my coffee.


End file.
